I think I fall in love a lot because you were high up at my list of people to fall in love with. But I think I fell in lust with you, because you’re such a freely sexual person. I admire that about you. I really don’t know how you handle your feelings/emotions, because if I was in your shoes I would be really confused. I can’t juggle people like you can.
I hope you don’t take that offensively because I have nothing but respect for you. I may have kept my distance from you for many reasons, but If you ever read this series, then maybe you’ll understand.
I really loved everything we talked about and all that I learned from you. It seemed like a never ending conversation with you. Your aura just refueled my own energy and together it was just crazy. It was like a fire ready to ignite. For a few moments, we started quite the fire between us. They never did last tho, did they. What a bummer. It was nice to have done those fun things with you, but things were complicated and I hate complicated things.
But I don’t hate you, in fact, I hope we can be friends. And I wish you the best of luck n love and life.
"I wish I could have kissed you longer."
Well, you know I wish I was sober when we kissed, that way I could at least remember the way your lips felt against mine. I wish I knew where you lived and I wish I remembered more about you. I wish I wasn’t so drunk when we met and hung out that ONE time. I wish I could see you again and I wish I could have slept in your arms that night. I am sorry I didn’t, but I’m also glad because another emotional attachment is the last thing I need right now.
You know you’re fine as hell. I find it hard to believe that out of everyone in the bar, you noticed the body language signals I was giving you. I was so surprised to find out you were a psychology major as well. And you use your knowledge well. It shows. You really impressed me because then you started talking about your women’s studies minor. FAQ. I could have jumped your bones at that moment. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? I know you felt this way about me as well- but I was drunk, I’m surprised I impressed you with my drunk talk.
What I wonder now is…did I make an impact on you as much as you did to me? Do you think about me as much as I do? You mentioned your 3 year old chocolate Lab gets along great with other animals, especially bunnies and you added a winky face to that text- was I supposed to read into that? Because I suck at hints. I can read body language, much like yourself, but I suck at reading hints…
That day I met you I asked the universe for a sign and it brought me to you. I told my friend I was interested in you but I did not think we would actually meet. I’m grateful we did. I’m at a really funky transition in my life right now, I wish I had met you sooner. But things are the way they are right now for a reason, but I would like you to know If I didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d be falling in love with you right now. You were such a sweetheart and we had so much in common. Almost like I’ve been trying to be you for quite some time. I admire you. I want you. But I can’t have you, and that’s okay. I am just happy to have had you in my life for that time.
P.S. Where the fuck do you live, really. Were you really just passing thru Arcata? Where did you come from damn it! Heaven?
The next few posts will be about boys I have thought a lot about in the past year. More specifically, they will be letters to them, things which I could have said, but didn’t. I am afraid of feeling what I really want to feel to avoid complications. I seem to invest more in trying to forget someone and everything beautiful they have shown me.